Procrastination is my middle name

Wow, I first did this in 2006? I'm not even sure why or how I started this, and it seems like that's all I did, start it. I have a problem with putting things off. There's so much I want/plan to do and this pretty much sums it up. Life seems to be just flying away. And I'm going with it. Where its gone I dont remember. Where its going, who the the hell knows. Where do I want to go? I have a list. Will I get to any of them? Possibly...will I remember, probably not much.

I'm a bit lost. I think that's why I became a flight attendant. I knew I didn't want to stay in one place but wasnt sure where I wanted to be. I still dont know where I want to be. I have ideas but I dont implement any of them. I sometimes feel like I'm waiting for something to find me. It hasnt. Or maybe it has and I've ignored it. I would doubt it. I ignore a lot, especially in people. I ignore warning signs. I dont know why. I'm pretty pragmatic. I don't make much sense. I'm a bundle of contradictions. And I ramble aimlessly. It's one reason I dont like talking to people, I start one place and end up somewhere completely different. Aimless maybe that's why I became a flight attendant

Beginnings

I don't like myself very much. Well, I'm upset with myself a lot. I care too much about what other people think of me. I'm trying to correct this but I haven't been very successful as of yet. I try to live my life as honestly as possible. People who don't confuse me. I don't understand why people feel the need to lie, especially about people. I've been the victim of many lies. I don't get it. I'm very reserved, tend to be shy. Somehow I keep trusting the wrong people. I'm naive, sad but true. I desperately try to hide this fact. I display a tough exterior, but it's a facade. People sometimes mistake me for being a snob or being upset, or bored. I am bored a lot. I'm tired of my life. I'm tired of being tired. I hate that people have taken things from me and try and make me feel bad about myself. This is just the beginning...